What Is This Guy Trying To Do To Me?
by
Ross Jeffries
Author, Speed Seduction
Today, a subject came up that is actually pretty common as a concern for beginners: What if women catch me using this stuff?
Here it is, in the student's own words. Do read it, because I think my answer will dramatically increase YOUR success with this material, no matter what stage you are at:
"Sorry guys but I'm just going to keep posting with what I think are pathetic questions because I'm sick of not getting this stuff.
I used to have this feeling that people just generally didn't like me. Well Ross gave me some small exercise to do. That combined with just doing things that are way out of my comfort zone
(the cheer leading practice was a huge one (I can't wait to go back)) has caused alot of that to disappear.
That's not to say that some of it is not there but it's not as overpowering and debilitating as it once was. I notice people looking at me differently and just having a much better response to my presence when I don't act in such a way.
But...
I still have not used the SS material in an actual conversation.
There is still a feeling in my gut like "what if I get caught". I know this topic comes up in a lot of Ross's products but I still can't get rid of the thought. I can picture the look on the girls face like"what is this guy trying to do to me".
What do I do to overcome this feeling or fear or delusion or whateveryou want to call it. I'm not afraid to talk to girls, I do it all the time, I'm just afraid to use the material.
Today I was at this local restaurant that I eat at all the time.
There is this really cute girl that works at the counter that I always flirt with. Today my buddy was with me and he was like "I think she really likes you". Well the point is that I was not afraid to flirt with her and ask her to sit with us, but I was afraid to use the SS material.
Brother R."
Now, lots of students offered good advice to Bro R.
Some told him about how they gradually worked their way into using language patterns.
Others told him to change how he thought about using the "patterns"; that they actually are things women LOVE hearing and respond to, so that he should think of himself as giving gifts
to these women.
I think, however, the best answer to Bro R and any of the rest of you who fear "getting caught" is this:
Ok. What if you DO get "caught"?
What is the very WORST that could happen?
What if it were an unprecedented opportunity to show that you can stand up for yourself and own your truth?
What if, instead of apologizing for what you were doing, you really got the lesson that you had the right to learn, to make mistakes, and that learning to better attract and please women is something..
You Should Be Damn Proud Of!
Listen: wanting to get better at attracting women, wanting to have CHOICE in this very important area of life is your God-given right as a hu-man being and you should, far from being embarrassed or ashamed, be very, very proud of yourself.
So, what if you could OWN this truth about yourself?
What if your answer to getting "caught" was:
"You know, as a man, I feel it is my duty AND my right to get even better at attracting and pleasing women, and I'm willing to go through the initial embarrassment and stumbling with the
occasional woman who give me a break with it."
How is that for owning your truth, standing in it, and being truly "confident"?
I guarantee you THAT kind of confidence would blow even the bitchiest woman away and I have seen it happen, time and time again.
STAND IN YOUR OWN TRUTH. SPEAK IT. Rather than being embarrassed, put it right in their face if they should be one of the rare nasty-nasties who attempt to deal with their own insecurity by putting YOU down for it!
Could you imagine feeling totally calm, at ease, at peace and balanced as you spoke the total truth of it to some bitch of a girl, JUST LIKE THAT?
How free, liberated and totally awesome would feel to be able to stand strong in that?
Acceptance Confidence To The Rescue!
Now, finally, one more bit of reassurance:
In the beginning, doing ANYTHING new, you are going to make mistakes. That's just how it works.
But rather than demand PERFORMANCE CONFIDENCE, which is confidence based on many, many past successful experiences, with something brand new you have to substitute ACCEPTANCE CONFIDENCE.
ACCEPTANCE CONFIDENCE is a matter of giving yourself the permission to learn, to enjoy screwing up, and smiling and laughing through it. It's determination AND the softness to step into experience without having to know what is going to happen, RIGHT OR WRONG.
The cool thing is, ACCEPTANCE CONFIDENCE is just a matter of will and perspective. You can have it, RIGHT NOW.
The cooler thing is, to women, the vibe from ACCEPTANCE CONFIDENCE is just as attractive and sexy as the vibe from PERFORMANCE CONFIDENCE. Women really can't even tell the
difference!
So..go get 'em and enjoy your God-given right to learn and stumble!@
Peace and piece,
Ross Jeffries
Speed Seduction



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