Why There's No Such Thing As Failure With Women
By Joseph Matthews
Author, Art of Approaching
You know, I really enjoy getting email from my customers. Some of them have truly inspiring stories of success that make me feel really good that I could be a part of it.
However, occasionally, I do get a few emails from people who just aren't up to the task of getting their life in order.
Recently, I got an email from a guy who had bought my Art of Approaching book which I found quite disappointing, and I want to share it with you all.
An Email From A Man In Crisis
Hi Joe,
I can't do this. Its too hard. I know every woman is going to point and laugh at me. I think I'll renounce chatting up women and become a monk instead maybe it ll be easier walking up to sexy nuns. Thank you for your help
--A Beaten Man
My Response:
I want you to read those words above carefully.
These are the words of a man who's admitted defeat. They're the words of a man who has given up. To him, his efforts were met with failure, and he'd rather quit completely than deal with failure again.
This kind of email saddens me. It truly does.
I wrote The Art of Approaching because I want to help others as I help myself. And when I see guys give up like this, I can't help but feel bad for them.
But my feelings don't stop with pity. They stop with anger.
Anger that there are people out there who have lost the will to fight for what they want. Anger that that people have accepted loss and hopelessness as a way of life.
Most men don't want to fight for what they believe in. It's too hard, and they're conditioned to losing. It's been beaten into them that there is no hope of winning, so they might as well give up.
I don't believe that.
I believe in winning, and my goal in my writings is to remind guys guys like these what kind of power they still have. That it IS possible to win.
That Failure not only isn't an option, it doesn't exist at all.
There are certain things in this world that we see as real, but don't really exist. For instance, thoughts. Thoughts don't really exist. We can't hold them in our hands and play with them. Feelings are the same way, as are abstract concepts like "right and wrong" or "good and evil." None of this stuff is solid, or tangible. It's all created in your mind.
Failure is the same thing.
When you fail, you percieve the outcome of an action as something different than what you desired, and the feeling that is evoked from that outcome is one of pain and loss. When these feelings of pain and loss cause you give up ever trying to get that desired outcome again, that is what's called "failure."
There's a finality to the word "failure." As if, when it happens, that's it. Game over. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. You have no hope of achieving what you set out to do.
But the thing is, you can ALWAYS achieve what you set out to do. Maybe not right away, but later on.
The key to success is PERSERVERENCE. As long as that is in place, failure does not exist, merely setbacks.
If an army gave up after one defeat, there would be no war. There would only be "battles" and "skirmishes." You have to look at achievement of your goals as more than just individual accomplishments or failures. There's a bigger picture you have to be aware of.
What's your goal?
If it's to find a beautiful woman and marry her and raise a family together, then getting rejected after approaching one woman you're attracted to does not mean that goal is beyond your reach.
In the first century BC, there was a king by the name of Mithridates Eupator VI, who was considered one of Rome's greatest enemies. He successfully defended his kingdom against the Romans for fourty years, in an unending war. Each time Rome declared victory, Mithridates considered it merely a strategic retreat, and soon came roaring back with a more powerful army than before.
Every time Mithridates was served with a loss, he did not declare "Failure" and pack up. He looked at what happened, what he did wrong, and learned from it, not to make the same mistake again. He had a goal: To protect his kingdom from the Roman invaders, and nothing was going to stop him from doing so.
You need to have the mentality of Mithridates when it comes to getting women. You can't look at little rejections and setbacks as failures. Rather, they're learning experiences. Failure must cease to exist in your reality. There is only victory, and learning experiences.
When you achieve this, you will never lose your will to fight, and you will have tasted for the first time what it's like to win.
In my book, The Art of Approaching, I go through specific strategies to help men overcome their fears of failure and rejection. I give step-by-step instructions on what you need to do to wipe out any sense of failure from your love life, so that anyone, even the poor guy who wrote in above, can turn their lives around!
You'll see just how easy it can be to never fail again.
Wishing you success with women,
Joseph Matthews
Art of Approaching